


Reflections - Part 1

by ShyVioletCat



Series: Unexpected [2]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: acotar next gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-06 20:49:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20513291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShyVioletCat/pseuds/ShyVioletCat
Summary: Follows on from Unexpected. Written pre ACOWAR release.





	Reflections - Part 1

Azriel sat in the rocking chair in his daughter’s room, slowly rocking back and forth. Leora had fallen asleep a little while ago but he had continued the motion out of reflex. Azriel looked down, Leora’s little hand was wrapped around a single finger of his and he watched her eyelids fluttered as she dreamed.

It had been a battle to get her to sleep. She was 9 months old now and her teeth had started to come through. The poor tiny thing had been fussy all day, she’d hardly eaten anything and the drooling had caused at least three outfit changes. When Mor had fed her for her night time feed, Leora had halfway settled, but by then she had reached to point of over tiredness and had fought sleep every step of the way. Azriel had volunteered to put Leora to bed as Mor had business in the Hewn City tomorrow morning. The visits had been easier since the death of Mor’s father, but still her visits left her drained and raw, and she needed all the strength and resolve she could get.

Azriel’s mind inadvertently drifted to Keir and looking at his daughter now he contemplated how a father could ever willingly hurt their child. What had been wrong with Keir that caused him to so ruthlessly brutalise Morrigan? What sickness of the mind would cause him to abandon her to men just as savage? Tears began to prick his eyes and Azriel held Leora and little tighter. He knew in his heart he would never hurt her. His instincts screamed at him at the mere thought of it. Right now, it drove him mad that his daughter was in pain and he could do almost nothing to ease it. Leora needed teeth, but the pain and discomfort she was feeling made him wish she didn’t.

One day Leora would ask about her grandparents, and Azriel dreaded it. Maybe the absence of grandparents throughout the rest of the Inner Circle would stay her questions for a long while. Mor’s mother and his father were Leora’s only surviving grandparents. His father he hadn’t seen since being dumped in Lord Devlon’s camp, and he didn’t care if he was dead or alive.

Mor’s mother had shown no interest in getting to know her grandchildren. She had met Daeron maybe four times in his life when he had visited the Hewn City with either Azriel or Mor, and Mor’s mother had barely looked twice in his direction. Mor’s mother was still terrified of Azriel and it didn’t surprise him, if anything he was glad of it. Less likely that she would take an active interest in anything that was his. Azriel was determined to never let Leora set foot in that place, and needed no enticement to draw Leora there. Leora was too pure for that place, her light was too bright. He never wanted her to be tainted by the darkness that dwelled in that city.

But she was already tainted by darkness. By his darkness. So far, there hadn’t been any other instances involving shadow manipulation since the first time. His heart had stopped in his chest when Azriel saw Leora laying on the floor of the living room, the wisp of darkness weaving between her hands. He held to a hopeless hope that it in some way had been him, that a shadow had lingered after he left the room only moments before. But the way the shadow had moved about her hands and reacted to her, and the way his own shadows sometimes called to her… Azriel knew, he knew in his heart that Leora was a shadowsinger. And her power would only grow as she did.

Even though there had been many years of peace and war was not looming on the horizon, Azriel wasn’t naïve enough to think that they would forever live in this hard-won peace. He was an immortal, he knew nothing lasted forever, not even him. He could die, he couldn’t count the amount of times he almost had. Subconsciously his free hand raised itself to the scar of where the ash arrow had pierced his chest when he had gone with the Inner Circle to retrieve the Cauldron. He had come so close to death that day, without Feyre’s bargaining death would have claimed him. As time went on, Courts would once again vie for power, want to show their strength to the others, and a shadowsinger would be a much sought after asset.

A cool breeze blew in from the window and Azriel felt a cold patch on his chest. With her mouth slightly open Leora had drooled on his shirt and Azriel let out and almost inaudible laugh. He would make sure to close the window when he left.

If he left.

The direction in which his thoughts had strayed made him never want to leave his daughter again, never let her out of his sight, never have her hand leave his. He would do anything to keep her safe.

His left wing twitched behind him, both wings were becoming stiff from sitting so still. But he would stay here all night if it meant Leora would be comforted as she slept. He would gladly suffer the pain of a stiff back and wings if it meant she would suffer less, even if it was by a miniscule amount. The chair stilled and Azriel let his head lean against the back of the chair and before too long his eyelids began to droop.

“Az, wake up.”

Azriel blinked and shook his head a little before entirely opening his eyes. When he realised his arms were empty he started upright, his back and wings barking in pain. Mor was standing in front of him, dressed for the Hewn City in a flowing midnight blue halter-neck that left her arms and back bare. His eyes only lingered on Mor for a moment before moving to the cot. Leora slept with her arms lying beside her head. At the sight of her the panic Azriel had felt at waking up without her in her arms dissipated and he let out a heavy sigh.

“I’ve fed her and changed her,” Mor whispered as she held out her hands to him. “I didn’t want to wake you. I knew once you were up you wouldn’t sleep again.”

“I didn’t close the window,” Azriel whispered in response as he took Mor’s hands and stood, then he pulled her against his chest.

Mor huffed out a laugh into his shoulder. “You kept her warm enough.”

Azriel hugged Mor a little tighter as his body came to full wakefulness, then he stretched out one wing at a time. Over Mor’s shoulder Azriel watched Leora sleep, oblivious of the stress her mother and father were feeling in this moment. Azriel could feel Mor’s heartbeat quickening and this time her arms wrapped tighter around him. Then, with a sigh, Mor disengaged herself and stepped back from Azriel and approached the cot. Bending down Mor placed a kiss on Leora’s forehead and the infant stirred a little at the contact but did not wake. The smile that graced Mor’s face was so beautiful that it caused Azriel’s heart to halt for a few beats then catch up rapidly. As if hearing it Mor turned to him and smiled a little wider. Taking Azriel’s hand she led them both from the room. But as Azriel closed the door behind him when Mor turned to him her face solemn once again.

“I should be back by midday.”

Azriel took her pale face in his hands and kissed her gently bringing a small smile back to her face. “We’ll be waiting.”

“I can’t wait to get home to you,” Mor said as she ran her hands over Azriel’s chest and shoulder as she walked away. The light shirt that he wore was an almost non-existent barrier between his skin and Mor’s fingers and where she touched was set aflame in response. Before she could escape from him completely Azriel lunged for her hand and pulled her towards him. Mor let out a small surprised yelp which Azriel swallowed the last sounds of as he kissed her deeply, one hand on her face and the other on the small of her back holding her against him.

It was Mor who broke the kiss, her cheeks were flushed pink, and Azriel gave her a triumphant smile.

“You look beautiful,” Azriel said, his breath mingling with Mor’s.

“I know,” was all Mor said before she sauntered away giving Azriel an uninterrupted view of the plunging open back of the dress. Before descending the stairs, she turned to Azriel and gave him a wicked smile that made his blood sing. For Azriel, midday couldn’t come soon enough.

Azriel had about two hours to himself before his shadows whispered to him that Leora was waking. Putting down the document he had been reading, he stretched a little before heading out of the study. His back and wings were still a little stiff from sleeping in the rocking chair, but he would undoubtedly do it again.

When he entered the room Leora was just starting to whimper, her little fists rubbing at her face and pulling at her delicately pointed ears. If she was pulling at her ears Azriel knew her teeth must be bothering her. A soft sob sounded from her, and another once Azriel came into her view. Her arms reached out to him and her bottom lip wobbled. At her beckoning Azriel picked her up, and with one arm around his neck she snuggled into his shoulder. Azriel rubbed her back soothingly and put a little bounce in his step that he knew she liked. Soon she was lying contently against him, one hand still playing with her ear. 

“What shall we do today Leora?” Azriel asked laying her down on the change table. “Shall we make something for Mama to eat when she gets home?” Azriel knew that Leora had little understanding of what he was asking but at the mention of her mama Leora’s eyes had brightened a little. While he changed her Azriel continued to prattle on. “We could make her a nice salad, but that’s a little boring isn’t it. We could maybe make her something sweet instead. Pancakes perhaps? Your mama likes to eat breakfast food at any time of day.” Azriel had finished changing Leora and know picked her up and sat her on his hip. “Which means we have to go to the store. So, what shall you wear.”

Placing Leora on the ground Azriel went to her draws and cupboard looking for an outfit for Leora to wear. She watched him contently and she chewed on a toy, easing the ache of her gums. Azriel chose three dresses and laid them out in front of Leora.

“Which one, precious?” Leora looked up at him then back to the dresses, her blue-green eyes sparkling. She leant over on her hands and knees and moved towards the pale blue one with little floral designs on it. Azriel quickly moved the other two dresses out of eyesight before Leora could change her mind and slipped the dress over her head. With his fingers, he then smoothed out her hair and put sturdy socks on her feet. “Ready? Let’s go.”

Azriel always forgot how much longer it took to do things when going out with a baby. He dropped the bags on the counted and then moved to the living room. Halfway to the shops Leora had vomited and Azriel had to duck into a small restaurant to change her into another outfit that he pulled from the bag that was now his constant companion whenever he went out with Leora. He could just summon things from home but it was simpler for him to just pull it from the bag. It took less mind power when a fussy baby was crying in front of him.

However, he did use his magic to untie the sling that held Leora to his body and lowered her to the floor in the living room. He saw Leora’s brows furrow in concern and disappointment, but then a smile appeared as Azriel sat in front of her. Leora crawled forward gurgling as she pulled herself onto his lap. 

“How did you like your outing today? Was it fun?” Leora nodded, didn’t speak but nodded, in confirmation. Leora was yet to say any recognisable words. She babbled relentlessly, but no clear words. She was standing on his folded legs, arms resting on his chest and his hands on her sides keeping her upright. She smiled as a tendril of shadow played across her hand and giggled when is disappeared behind Azriel’s shoulder. The clock chimed signalling midday and Azriel stood, taking Leora with him. “Let’s get lunch ready.”

The clock struck two and Mor still hadn’t arrived home. Azriel lent on the counter as he watched Leora in her high chair. He had kept her placated by slowly giving her food, mainly a variety of hard biscuits to help with her teething. He was saving the soft berries for when they actually ate the pancakes. The blueberries that he picked up were soft enough that her gums would squish them easily, or maybe he would squish them a little before he gave them to her. He would ask Mor when she got here. She would know. But where was she?

The door front door open and shut and Azriel straightened a little and breathed in the citrus and cinnamon scent that greeted him. “Leora, guess who’s home.”  
Leora paused her chewing for a moment to contemplate what her father had said. Leora’s back was towards where Mor would appear so it was Azriel would see her first. And when she did Azriel felt his heart crack a little. Mor looked exhausted and drained, her skin pale and her eyes lacking their usual brightness. She looked up at Azriel and gave him a weak smile, then approached Leora’s high chair, the child still unaware her mother had arrived home. 

In a swift, fluid movement Mor appeared in front of Leora to surprise her, “Hello baby girl.” 

Leora squealed with delight. “Mama!”

Azriel stilled, his eyes wide as he looked at Mor who turned to him with a mirroring expression. He could see tears welling in her eyes as she turned back to Leora. Mor pulled Leora from her high chair, drool and crumbs ending up all over Mor’s dress. But she didn’t care, Azriel could see that. In this moment she was too happy to care about getting mess on her dress. 

“Mahh-ma,” Leora said again, placing a muck covered hand on Mor’s face. “Mama.”

Mor nodded, kissing Leora’s forehead “Yes, that’s right. I’m home! Mama’s here.”

“Mama!” Leora squealed again and Mor broke, tears streaming down her face.  
Azriel felt a tear run down his own cheek as Mor looked over to him positively beaming. His daughter was utter perfection. 

“Lunch?” Azriel asked wiping away his tear with his scarred hand and Mor nodded. She kissed Leora’s head as Mor sat down at the table and hugged Leora in close. Azriel began cooking the pancakes and smiled to himself, he knew Mor was letting their daughter go any time soon.


End file.
